Problem?

So the shave aide of my head was growing out and I went to get it shaved again. Just this time I told the stylist to shave a bit more than the first time which he did. Which resulted in me being pretty shocked and not too happy about the outcome but after playing around with my hair- it actually looked pretty good. And even figured some ways to hide the extreme look picture below. Overall. I love my hair!

Quote of the day

This is one of the best quote I have seen that I can relate to what has been going on in my life lately.

The End-

Let them talk

I wouldn't say that I am the outstanding weird, nor am I the type that consciously demands attention or even aware of it! I like being different, always have been not that I purposely do it but I kinda realize I always have been that way. Explains why I got bullied back in school, but we'll leave that to another day.

What I've realize now that I am coming to the age of 24, I have come to a point that I can mean it when I say people are gonna talk, so let them. But what really matter is what you think. We have to be able to different shade between who is our real friends and who are unfortunately assholes who just want to prey on people close to them just to build up their self esteem. And one of the things about being an Asian is that if your different they will categorize you as those uneducated Asian punks with mismatch socks and loud and foul mouth with too much make up and fake lashes. I used to be so eager to prove that I am not like that all! For one because I am actually pretty Westernize. It's not that I am proud or whatever, but I took to what they think of me so literate that I allowed it to somehow shape my personality and mold me to what people like them see as normal. Or what society would accept. But now I couldn't care less. I am who I am and I am proud of that!

The End!

Le shave take 2!

I know I got a wee patch shaved last Friday and I decided to get it properly done. So here it is! I like it this was so much more!

Le Shave

So yeah, my beautiful sister decided to record a video of a tiny part of my head being shaved off, i wanted the entire side gone, but well the stylist and my sis were worried I would hate it. But I'm going back to get more done, but not so soon...

 

But I like the way it is done, it's really clean and I can hide it! which is the most important part cause my parents would freak! Well- people would freak haha. Cause I never seem crazy enough to pull these kinda stuff off!

 

 The End.

This is as personal as it gets

Introduction
 In 2009 took a bunch of photos that featured me being crazy and playing around with smudge eyeliner, and here is one of them.

 

And today, in 2013 I decided to take another. The difference in these 2 shots was the first was taken because I was young I was bored and I actually like taking these type of expressive shots. But too bad I don't have any real talent so these are pretty much a bunch of random selfies.

http://instagram.com/p/XJM3BhKpNJ/ 

 Words

Then there is the photo that was taken today. In all honesty it was a bad day, I melt down in my room because I was having some family issues again. Some hurtful things were said and as much as I didn't want to hear it or take it to heart it didn't change the fact that words can hurt you. Words are not just a bunch meaningless letters put together to pronounce something or just a sound- When you say something and you mean it especially with intention to hurt a person, it not only does what you want it to but it can really damage even kill a person inside. 

My Pain

It's been a really tough couple of months. In fact it's been pretty shitty for a couple of years now. I got in a relationship with my best friend and now we aren't even speaking. I had to get my own sister to delete and untag photos of him and delete all mutual friends of mine and his off my Facebook because I knew that I couldn't bear looking at those photos those people and not feel hurt. 

I kept telling people I'm OK, it doesn't hurt that much anymore. And I honestly believe that I was not only lying to them I was lying to myself until reality hit me when I got drunk at karaoke just last week and what I really felt came out. But as bad as it sounds when you read it or even go 'Of course she did!'. It wasn't a bad thing, because it forced me to admit the truth and seek help from true friends! And with the help of some friends and one that reminded me that as much as I hate myself and feel sorry for myself and as lonely as I get; it could have been worst if I had not known God. Because God has been watching and still is. And that it's OK to admit your hurt. It's OK to feel hurt- what's not OK, is to suppress it which is exactly what I was doing. And because of what he said it made me realize that I can't heal unless I let go and mean it, but I'm not strong enough that's why I need God to help me learn to let go and forgive. And that is why I seek the help of my sister to help me do the things I couldn't so that I could move on.

I blamed myself for the relationship falling apart, and then I blame him. And then I blame his friends. Because I was too selfish to admit that the relationship was not meant to be, because I was to blind to see from the start that it could never work out. -But I will not go there in this post, maybe in future I will. Or I wont. But for now I'm not. So here is where I stop regarding my break up.

My Religion

I am a Christian, but I am not where I want to be in my faith in God, but I am working on it. When I was young people told me that Oh, Christians seem to get it easy. Their always well prepared and bad things hardly happen to them. And when I got older a Pastor said that 2nd generation Christian's (which I am) are not true Christians. Don't get me wrong, that offended me a lot it sucked actually, I mean I grew up knowing God and only HIM and now you tell I'm not a real Christian? Who are you to judge me? But as I got older I understood what he meant, and he was right. The 1st generation Christians are those that grew up not knowing God they went through major hardship and found repentance and salvation through Christ, while us 2nd generation Christian's grew up to only know HIM, and that is why our faith in God may not be that strong as the 1st generation Christians. But what is there to compare? You relationship with God is between you and HIM, we all slide but what's the most important is when we realize that we need to go back to our roots, which is our religion which is trusting in God. We are not perfect so why try to be? What we should do is be the best we can be! Honestly I have no idea where I would be if it weren't for God. Because I know man will fail but God will never fail us. And when I fall so hard that I can't even pick myself up again, there he will be. Telling me that I can to just trust in him.

My Healing (Photos)

I  love writing, it's something that has always been therapeutic  to me, to express words that you may not necessarily have the courage to say it out. And I like taking photos too, I think that it's a form of expression caught on film. Something that you can capture and really look at it and feel it. Which is why I took these pictures as to remind myself to let go, that nothing is as hard and as powerful as Letting Go. Of everything that is holding you back. Be it past friends, hurts, hate, anger, your ego, your pride, your loneliness, your selfishness everything that keeps thinking that your damage you don't deserve to be happy because of the end of the day; No one is not worth it. No one is so damaged that they can't be safe! And the only way you can heal and be happy is when you learn to Let Go.

http://instagram.com/p/WwumvwKpOC/

This shot is a form of surrender and at the same time saying no more, i want to let go of it all.

http://instagram.com/p/WwuxDCKpON/

I felt lighter after realizing that I have to Let Go to love and to heal and as sad as my eyes look, that was a genuine smile knowing that I have taken a step forward and shedding the layers of walls I build out of spite and hurt, and anger. And learning to love myself and to live for myself and my happiness.

P.S. What gave me the push to take those photos was Paramore - In the Mourning, that song really helped me recover. And it's to mourn for lost, for pain for love 'And in the mourning I'll rise. In the mourning I'll let you die. In the mourning; all my Sorrys.'

The End-

Common Curtosy and Common Sense- Close to non-existent!

http://instagram.com/p/XEcRADqpPn/

Well Juice Works Midvalley's staff are not bad..anything but cooperative or even give a 2 shizs about Customer Service. Well there's a Digi promo going on buy 1 free 1. And i brought 2 Digi phones to purchase 4 drinks! And he only gave me the promo for 1 drink and worst off instead giving me all Power size he gave me 2 Medium. Yeap, he pretty much lied to my face when I reconfirmed my order before paying and even what was states in the receipt was not clear.

I am just glad that everyone is happy with their drinks and feeling healthy. Oh! And the genius who gave me my drink thought hey this red head has 4 arms she can all 4 drinks with her hands! don't need a bag at all! And when I asked for a bag- he gave me A bag. ONE. So I have a bag with 2 drinks inside, 2 more to hold in my hands. 2 phones and my purse. GENIUS!

The End. -of ranting-